It is not always easy, and yet we can only live a self-determined and well-balanced life if we can manage to define our personal boundaries and uphold them confidently. Is the inconspicious yet powerful word "no" already part of your everyday vocabulary?
Sure, there are things in life that are uncomfortable, but still managable and worth the effort. It can not always be easy, we need to step out of our comfort zone every now and then, and sometimes, that means being tenacious and battling our way.
But it can come in quite handy if we can manage to distinguish the situations that are acceptable from those that might break us. Because saying no is not weak and it doesn't mean giving up either! Quite the contrary. Setting boundaries and communicating them clearly is a strong trait and helps us defend our well-being.
SAY NO TO...
1) ...everything that is "too much"
This week's schedule is already bursting, and then there is your friend Gina who wants to meet up for a coffee? Burnout is close and your boss doesn't stop giving you new tasks? It is your right to refuse whatever gives you a feeling of unnecessary stress. You are not here to fulfill anyone's expectations but your own. And in most cases, a little "no" every now and then does not entail the end of the world. The more balanced you feel, the more efficient you are, which means more pleasant meetings with friends and better results at work, among other things. So, trust your guts and feel your limits, and then act accordingly.
2) ...things that contradict your core values
No one has the right to make decisions for you, to treat you unfairly or to oblige you to do things that are opposed to your convictions and beliefs. You don't owe anything to anyone, so don't make yourself smaller than you are. Instead, stand up for yourself and say "so far and no further" whenever someone is going too far. You are stronger than you think, and as long as you stay friendly and explain what's bothering you in a comprehensible manner, people are most likely to respect your limits and thus be willing to find a solution that is acceptable for everybody involved.
3) ...anything distracting
We only have one life, and we all want to make the most out of it. If you have found your calling, you should aim for its achievement with every fiber of your being. Of course, there are responsibilities that we have to take seriously, but apart from that, we are free in our actions and decisions. Make sure to keep your focus on what really matters to you and don't let anything make you go astray. We can't take on every single task that comes our way during the day and it is simply not possible to please everyone around us at all times. So set your priorities and refuse to do anything that does not correspond to them and thus doesn't move your life forward.
4) ...your limiting beliefs
You can't become an estate agent because you studied nutritional science? I say (almost) everything is possible! And one thing is for sure: if you don't give it a try, it will most definitely never happen. Why not send a message to a local estate agent and ask if you can be his or her shadow for one day, like an intern, to get to know more about the daily routine at work? Because in the end, the person you're asking for information or help is a human being such as yourself. And who knows, maybe this will be the beginning of an amazing story...
5) ...unrealistically high expectations
There is already enough pressure and responsibilitly raining down on you from the outside, so try not to be too hard on yourself in addition. Everyone knows you're doing your best and nobody is expecting you to be perfect - because there are no superhumans! As stated above, there will always be tasks and situations that challenge us to get out of our comfort zone, and yet is it important that the overall outcome fills us with joy and makes our life somewhat meaningful. So if you have the impression that your everyday life is more burdensome than satisfying, maybe it's time to rethink your priorities and say no whenever necessary.
If you're only beginning to define and defend your boundaries, you may be interested in this article that can help you with overwhelming situations.
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What's your biggest trouble when trying to say "no"? And what are your personal success stories? We would love to hear more about your experiences! 😊